*Grandma got Ran Over by a Reindeer*

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Grandma got run over by a reindeer

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Walking home from our house Christmas eve.

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You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

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But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

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She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,

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And we'd begged her not to go.

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But she'd left her medication,

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And she staggered out  the door into the snow.

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When we found her Christmas mornin',

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At the scene of the attack.

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She had hoof prints on her forehead,

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And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

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Grandma got run over by a reindeer,

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Walking home from our house Christmas eve.

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You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

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But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

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Now were all so proud of Grandpa,

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He's been takin' this so well.

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See him in there watchin' football,

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Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.

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It's not Christmas without Grandma.

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All the family's dressed in black.

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And we just can't help but wonder:

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Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

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Grandma got run over by a reindeer,

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Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.

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You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

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But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

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Now the goose is on the table

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And the pudding made of fig.

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And a blue and silver candle,

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That would just have matched the hair

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in Grandma's wig.

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I've warned all my friends and neighbors.

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Better watch out for yourselves."

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They should never give a license,

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To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

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Grandma got run over by a reindeer,

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Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.

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You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

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But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.